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The Secret Parade

About

Professional Fridge Raider

Archives

May 2012 June 2012 July 2012 August 2012 September 2012 November 2012 March 2013 August 2013 October 2013 December 2013 November 2015

Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name
Thursday, June 28, 2012
I'm not sure when it started, but I've always been adamant that my life be a giant adventure. I want to stand at the edge of vastness, I want to lie on a patch of foreign grass, I want to ride up a sand dune at 45 degrees with my ATV, screaming my head off. I want to take a plane alone for hours and hours and set foot in a strange land myself - lost, but excitedly so.

I fly to China the day after tomorrow and it never really sunk in so far because I've been so busy. Tonight though, I met the girls for a potluck dinner (I brought a spring chicken HAHA) and they surprised me with a homemade cardboard card.




























Beulah's brilliant idea HAHA he doesn't even look that great here thanks!? Anyway, behind the picture they wrote little notes of encouragement and well-wishes... and THEN it hit me.

China. Five weeks. Tomorrow.

And for the entire train ride home my heart somehow got caught in my throat.

Five weeks isn't a long time, really. I know it'll fly by. What makes me scared isn't the adventure - it's the fear of a lack thereof.

Five months in America last year was pretty much life-changing for me. I regret not blogging about it, because I forget so easily. There's hardly any ink on the pages of my journal chronicling July to December 2011, but for the little that there is, here are some excerpts that might help you understand why I left a little piece of my heart there.

















So the 10 of us are on a road trip in a beat-up caravan like rock stars from the '60s, travelling across the Arizonian desert. We're all starving undergraduates from all over the world - Spain, Bulgaria, Germany, Russia, Japan, America and Singapore. This was the best caravan that we could afford - nothing works properly and it's hilarious. The heater spews out cold air (not great when it's 10 degrees celsius at night), the flush doesn't work (not great when you're the first to find out that your pee just isn't going down), and the door eventually decides that it refuses to shut.


















For the first time in my life I see the colours of fall in real life when we stop at a creek in Sedona. No one has their swimsuits but they all plunge in anyway, and almost freeze their balls off. I'm seeing wayyy more of Abboh than I thought I would. 


































He looks like a tropical penguin. It's hilarious. 


























At night we cook pork chops over a fire that we built with twigs that Lena and I gathered. We take a walk to the South Rim of the Grand Canyon. "First time seeing the Grand Canyon and I can't see shit," says Vincenzo. We lay out the mat and lie under the stars, frantically making wishes every time we see a shooting star. I didn't bother. The Big Guy up there knows the whispers of my heart well enough.



















I love how we weren't really great at beer pong. I love how we'd bake a whole batch of fries the next morning and stuff them all into our mouths. It's funny how we thought that chair from Target would be able to hold our weights.




































It's even funnier when it collapses.

(picture unavailable because we were more concerned about our lives than about photographs)

We should've known better than to get stranded in a thunderstorm at 4 degrees celsius with no coats, no umbrellas, and ridiculous winds. We call a cab and he asks us where we were. "WE DON'T REALLY KNOW, THERE ARE NO SIGNS - THERE'S ONLY A PORN SHOP... HELLO? HELLO?" For the first time I get a hint of what hypothermia feels like. A fat man huddles together with us and gives me his shirt - in my cold desperation, I take it without hesitation.


The next day I wonder why.

















I love how I spent my 20th birthday away from home, but it was anything but lonely. The dinner, the balloons, the surprise, the cake... Ah, what I would give to spend my birthday with all of you again!

Hehe it's late so I'm gonna just end with a story of Nikki, a friend whom I never imagined I would have the blessing to encounter. She was assigned as my buddy under the buddy programme, and while many buddies didn't really care much about the exchange students whom they were assigned to, Nikki did so much more than I could ever imagine.

































(Yes, we did finish those fries.)

We went to the state fair together and ate giant turkey legs and fries. We rented a boat at Saguaro lake and drove it around. All those moments were great, but what really stood out was how she was with me every step of the way when I broke my clavicle.

She drove me to all my orthopedic appointments, filled out all my forms because I couldn't write, and woke up at 4.30am so that she could take me to my surgery appointment. She sat beside me cracking jokes to distract me as the nurse stuck needles into me, and let me stay over at her place days afterwards so that her family could take care of me after my surgery.

I'll always remember how I tried to carry out a conversation with her Mum when I was still stoned while being driven home after the surgery. HAHA. I kept talking rubbish and saying stuff like how I was so glad that I didn't wake up while I was being cut open.

I don't think many people know this because I just keep laughing about my injury, but it really was a pretty inconvenient time for me. I had to do everything single-handedly (literally), and with my non-dominant hand. After surgery, I couldn't get the wound wet, so Nikki actually washed my hair for me in the kitchen sink every day. She'd also drive me to the magical Frys (this AMAZING grocery store with smoothies, sushi, candy, cakes, a boardgame-corner... EVERYTHING) and buy me smoothies hehe. I cried at the airport when saying goodbye to her because I don't often see such selflessness around, and she truly showed me what it meant to be giving and loving.


My fear with China is that it would be nowhere as phenomenal as my experience in America. I don't think that I'd meet such amazing people, and have such amazing experiences. I guess I'm afraid to be disappointed. But no matter, an adventure's an adventure, and I'm gonna keep an open mind and dream big! (:



Monday, June 18, 2012
There are many fun things that I get to do as an intern at a magazine publishing firm. I get to choose wedding gowns for photoshoots (bridal magazine), write articles about dogs, cats, guinea pigs and fish (pets magazine), and get very chummy with excel spreadsheets. Well the last part's no longer my taiji. HAHAHAHA sorry Ellena. She's a part-timer that got hired to take over my data entry burden (seriously I was contemplating suicide). Gary and Fanix, our in-house graphic designers, actually just know her as 'Data Entry' because they can't remember her name.

I might be tempted to laugh, but it's hard to do so when I am known as "Ee-sah-biao" because Gary mangles the English language like how I disgrace Mandarin. On my first day he told me, "My ang moh no good." I then proceeded to attempt a conversation in Cantonese, which he's fluent in. It was like me trying to play basketball - nothing went in. Anyway, out of all the nice things that I get to do, one of the best parts is meeting the celebrities when we shoot them for our magazine spreads.

 

Contrary to popular belief, I actually wasn't star-struck when I met Bobby Tonelli. Somehow the people at work think that I prefer the Might of White to the Asian Invasion. But Mr. Tonelli just wasn't my cup of pao pao cha.


K he doesn't look very nice here HAHAHA but I can't really find a nice picture of him. I have a mini celebrity crush on Zhang Zhenhuan but NO ONE UNDERSTANDS. 

Comments on the above-mentioned photo: 
Joyce Yap: HAHAHAHAHA
Isabel Chia: Go away HAHAHA
Beulah Li: Actually he rly looks very cheena hahaha [5 likes]
Chloe Ting: Why does he look like that 
Isabel Chia: Whatever happened to 饮水思源 [1 like]
Isabel Chia: We all drink from the same Yangtze River [2 likes]
Chloe Ting: Isabel, stop. [1 like]


And yah the conversation kinda ended HAHA. Anyway, we were shooting him for the Suits Special of our bridal magazine. I was originally meant to stay in the office to finish my heap of work, but the editor let me go because he knew that I liked Zhang Zhenhuan. He also knew that I liked going to photoshoots held at restaurants because I like eating the refreshments that they provide HAHAHA. 


But anyway. May I just emphasise that I was nothing but professional because I think it's so lame to be fawning over someone. So during the photoshoot, I was just doing what I had to do. Organising the suits, labelling the cufflinks, assisting the stylist... And then my editor just HAD to strike a conversation with him with me only a metre away. 


"Eh Zhenhuan, my assistant here was SOOOO excited for today's photoshoot! SHE IS YOUR BIGGEST FAN!!!!" 






I think at this point I nearly dropped the borrowed Hermes watch that I was holding into my glass of water. Apparently I turned really red like a tomato (hi samuel) and sputtered something. I can't remember. This is one of those things that my brain voluntarily chooses to shut out from my memory bank. 


Then while Zhang Zhenhuan was modelling and the camera was snapping away, my big boss tapped me on the shoulder. 


 "Isabel, his shirt is a little crumpled around the chest, can you just smooth the blazer down at that area?"


And in my head I was like "Am I even supposed to do that?! What if he cries MOLEST?!" But I went ahead anyway, and told him (very professionally) that I needed to smooth the crease. And I did it (very professionally), before returning to my place behind the camera and whipping out my phone to text Beu. 


Me: Just touched Zhang Zhenhuan's chest 


I know you're judging me, but please don't exhaust all your condescension on me - you have to leave some for Beu, who replied in a matter of seconds. 


Beu: Omg HAHAHAHAHA did you squeeze his moobs? Got PEETURE (picture) or not!


I thank the good heavens that no matter how gross I am, Beu always manages to outdo me. There is hope for the continuation of the Chia line. There is hope.


Sunday, June 03, 2012
All those times of laughing at Gen's bouts with food poisoning has finally come to bite me in the ass - quite literally.







I have diarrhoea. (Hehehe brown colour to gross you out)

Food poisoning, to be exact.

*Disclaimer: Expect grossness. Leave page if eating nutella. 

This is all very new to me. You know how people are particularly susceptible to certain kinds of sicknesses? Mine has always been fever. When I was 15 years old, I used to get a fever every month. I never found out why, but I suspect that my immune system was really smart - always breaking down during school days when there were three periods of Chemistry.

I'm trying to narrow down the cause of my food poisoning down by analyzing What It Could Have Been:

1) The lau hong sheet of seaweed
2) The peanut butter cupcakes...
3) Or the fact that I ate 8 of them

This morning I woke up feeling a little strange, but I assumed it was merely due to a lack of sleep. Then the few of us met at Starbucks. Daryl offered me a caramel waffle, and I declined.

What I was thinking in my head: Did I just turn down food?  
Linus' verbalization of my innermost thoughts: "Did Izzy just turn down food?"

See, I might have garnered some kind of reputation over the years  D:

So began my epic journey home on the train. Home was 10 stops away, and the train has never moved slower. Somewhere around the 5th stop, I started feeling nauseous. I contemplated asking a fellow passenger for an unused plastic bag. Three stops away, beads of sweat were starting to form on my forehead, and I practically Usain-Bolted out once the train doors opened.

This is where my dignity kinda gets stripped.

I run into the toilet cubicle and kneel on the floor before the toilet bowl, rueing the day I decided that peanut butter was one of my major food groups. Nothing happens. If this is what the first trimester is like, then I don't ever want to get pregnant (sorry, Prime Minister). After ten minutes, I ask the nice people at the Control Station for a plastic bag, and I carry a big Giant plastic bag all the way home, alighting at two other stops to go to the toilet.

Home has never seemed so far away.

Now I'm still feeling nauseous, but at least I'm nauseous at home. I'm sipping on some salt water (my cheapo way of replenishing electrolytes), I haven't eaten since breakfast, and I'm waiting for my Mum to come back with charcoal pills (so Asian - eating barbecue-starters HAHA).

Here's to a better day tomorrow, a bonding experience with Cindy (she has food poisoning too), and a battered husband should he insist on having children in the future.


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